Until that baby becomes a 4.5 year old preschooler.
Everyone likes “cute” and “little.” Who can resist all those puppy and kitten videos on YouTube? Miniature versions of desserts are all rage. (Cupcake, anyone?) Babies are no different. People love their small, squishy bodies, little fingers and their sweet tiny noses.
Loving babies is in our DNA. It’s part of evolution. In 1943, Konrad Lorenz coined the concept of “Baby Schema.” Cuteness is measured by things like big eyes and a big, round head, paired with a small nose and mouth, and dimples. These Baby Schema features trigger a feeling of protectiveness, even when the baby is not ours. Loving our children is not something we choose or are conditioned to do. It’s an instinct that we can’t help- because they are so cute.
But what happens when babies grow up and become preschoolers? They lose their cuteness.
Let’s face it: babies and toddlers get by on their cuteness. Tantrums and potty talk from a 2 year old is cute and funny (even when you don’t admit it to them) but, it’s reason to send a 5 year old to their room without dinner. Toddler hugs are more satisfying, their off-key songs are sweeter, their little smiles more adorable. But when they pass the toddler stage, they are no longer cute.
“But, not my kid,” you say.
Sorry, you are wrong.
A research study done in China and Canada asked men and women to rate photographs of children ranging from infants to 6 years old to determine each face’s likability and attractiveness. “Men and women rated infants as more likeable and more attractive than toddlers, who, in turn are rated as more attractive than young children.” [J Pincott, Psychology Today] What they found was, after 4.5 years old, the features deemed “cute” are no longer prominent and the likability rating dropped off like a lead balloon.
But does cuteness matter? Probably not.
You see, parents don’t really care about research when it comes to someone telling them whether their child is cute. Research doesn’t know about snuggles at story time, homemade cards and art projects or “Phineas and Ferb” quotes being recited at random times. Research doesn’t prove to me whether I think my 5 year old’s missing front teeth are adorable or if my 7 year old’s excitement when making s’mores is cute, or even if my 13 year old’s incredible imagination is lovable.
Is it a coincidence that if you ask a parent what their favorite age is for their child that it always seems to be the age that child is right now? I have four children, three of which are past the “age of cuteness.” And I wouldn’t trade even one of my beautiful children for a world of cute.