Save The Date: All Your Questions Answered

Have you ever struggled to find space on your calendar to get together for dinner with your best friends? You all check through the dates on your phone, hoping to hit on one where no one has a conflict, until you finally give up, just vowing to get together soon? It’s not that you don’t want to get together, it’s just that you are so, so busy.

Welcome to event planning in the modern age.

Save The Dates for weddings have become almost a necessity with today’s busy schedules. (I have talked about Save The Dates before here.)

How to “Save The Date”

For many people, weddings are the first big, formal event they plan. And like many events with long, traditional histories, etiquette is a huge concern. Today, I will answer some of the biggest questions.

Appleby Photography wedding save the dates with engagement portraits
Do we even need to send Save The Dates?
The short answer is no. But there is a reason Save The Dates have become so popular. With everyone’s schedules getting more full and complicated, having advance warning of your wedding date helps your family and friends plan their time so they know they can be there for you. The further your family is spread out across the country and the busier the weekend of your wedding (i.e.: holiday weekend), the more necessary those Save The Dates become. Small, intimate weddings with only very close family and friends certainly wouldn’t need Save The Dates.

When do we send them?
Six months before the wedding is a good target, with 4-8 months being the range. This may vary if you are having a destination wedding since guests need to make travel plans. Also, check what events are happening at the same time as your wedding in the city where it’s taking place. If hotel rooms will be scarce, earlier is better.

Do we send one to everyone on the guest list?
While you certain may send Save The Dates to everyone who will be later getting a wedding invitation, it is not necessary. Every guest list includes names that receive invitation as more of a way to announce the wedding, even though you know they won’t be able to make the trip. Save The Dates are for the people that you really want to make sure are able to attend.

How much information do we include?
The date and location are the most important pieces of information to include on your Save The Dates. Other information can be added to help the guests plan, such as your wedding website or hotel information. All other details can wait until the formal invitations go out.

How do we address the Save The Dates?
Save The Dates are the more casual cousin to the wedding invitations. As such, the rules are a lot more relaxed. I’m not Emily Post, so I may catch some flack, but it’s okay to put away your pen. Return address labels are perfectly fine to use. For the guest’s address, pick what you are comfortable doing: hand write, address labels or home printer.

Do my Save The Dates need to match my wedding invitations?
Not at all! Save The Dates can set the tone of the event, but also are a great time to show the couple’s personality. While video, email or texts would certainly pass on the information about your wedding date, they don’t have the lasting qualities of a printed card or magnet. Use this opportunity to let guests know a little more about your personality and your wedding style.

With the help of your Save the Dates, everyone important to you will have enough warning to put your wedding on their schedules and reserve that time for you. And that is really the biggest point of Save The Dates- to make sure your family and friends are able to join you to celebrate your big day.